Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
being pregnant is like rehab
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
