i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
