his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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