I just threw up on my dentist
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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