Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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