Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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