he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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