So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
