I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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