We named our party play list daddy issues
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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