addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Less talking, more tequila
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize