would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
