Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My dick has a subreddit
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
