dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
