how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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