tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
