What a fucking waste of an outfit
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
