OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
