i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
