My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
