This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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