Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
it glows. i had to have it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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