It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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