It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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