So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
