I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
