Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
