The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
