yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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