so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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