so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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