what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
