so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
