just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
