U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
