Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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