Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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