hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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