what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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