How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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