Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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