I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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