She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
