is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
