It's like God shit irony all over that family
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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