i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I will be naked everywhere
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
