whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
