she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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