marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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