Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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