I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
