I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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