Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

So drunk, too bad you don't want this

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I don't get it.

(501): View more from Arkansas

Me neither.

(501): View more from Arkansas

But I masturbated to it anyway.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.

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(302): View more from Delaware

I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!

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(315): View more from New York

I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.

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(678): View more from Georgia

She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.

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(417): View more from Missouri

Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.

(1-417): View more from Missouri

I hope ur kiddin

(417): View more from Missouri

wish i was

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