I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize