Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
