quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
