Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
