honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
