i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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