margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
