I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
