your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
